Sometime we feel a lack of trust in the self, when really, the issue could be about patience.
Trust is fuelled by patience. This decision to be patient and trust in the self capacitates follow-through. Follow-through increases the possibilities of success.
Let’s start with the definition of trust. Trust can have many different meanings. For example,
• Trust can be the belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something; or the state of being responsible for someone or something;
• Trust can be the acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation, amongst other definitions.
There is also self-trust (the trust in one’s own capacity and capabilities to succeed at what one strives for) and to therapeutic trust (the trust in the capacity and capabilities of the therapist to assist and to help oneself, and the therapist’s trust in you, your capacity and your story).
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. Therefore, when one has trust in oneself (i.e. in their capacity and capabilities to succeed at what they strive for), and also patience to accept the delay, problems or suffering throughout that process until they have achieved their strived-for results, they then become fulfilled with the optimal combination of trust and patience for successful follow-through.
Sometimes we might feel like we don’t trust the self, when we are actually being impatient and hindering good follow-through, decreasing the possibility of success.
In this way, trust is an interesting asset which, when paired with patience, can be used in a powerful, strong and intelligent way. Trust’s noble characteristics are associated with the “contract” to follow through; Be it an action, relationship, or life change that one decrees to commit to by trust.
When viewing through this lens we may recognise patience’s wise, calming characteristics. Beyond the calamity of stress stands a strong, supporting basis of self-confidence which is built on the decision to pair trust with patience.
Balancing this pair, effectively, comes with practice. While we are still in the process of working through to our desired outcomes, we experience the attainment of goals, making us more likely to build self-confidence which implies a long-term commitment to ourselves, and to our posterior self-actualisation.
This pairing of trust and patience, in this regard, is the ultimate act of bravery and courage that one can have – trust in oneself, trust in others, and trust in life… Once one has trust, they have “fuel” to keep them going, as if they were saying to themselves – “Leave it with me, I got this…”-, because at the end of the day, if there are set-backs or disappointments along the way, those are all part of life, and at least we will know then that we have been living our full life.
So the next time that you worry about achieving a desired outcome/goal, a relationship, an end-result, or a plan of yours, maybe pause and remember to be patient with the process through which you are manoeuvring this life of yours, this relationship, these goals; if you keep patient enough through the process of reaching them (even while you haven’t reached them yet), your distress may decrease and your follow through will increase the possibility of success.
We prioritise trust – therapeutic trust, and namely, self-trust- through therapy work that we do together, as a close team of client-practitioner. We trust in your process developing cognitive, behavioural, and emotional “tools” at your own pace. We aim for you to feel safe, to feel- and be- in charge, and to set the direction of your life journey. Just because you cannot see your dreams or outcomes yet, does not mean that they aren’t already en route; they might just be (patiently) developing and on their way to you while you are trusting that you will definitely find them.
By Michelle Franca